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9 March 2016

ON INSECURITIES AND SELF WORTH



I have frizzy hair, bushy eyebrows, imperfect skin, and I am definitely not tall... I can go on and on and on pointing out the things I don't like about myself. I am my own worst critic. I'll be honest and say that I used to be one of those people who sits quietly in a corner looking at other girl's pictures and wishing I was the same as them. I would wish I was as pretty or as fit, and I ended up feeling so inadequate. Why I torture my self, I do not know. I felt like someone else was always prettier and better than this average looking me. Well, I have realised that true enough, there will always be someone who is better. And that's okay. I have accepted that now, and I'm learning to love my self, imperfections and all.


I was never the popular girl in school, I was the wallflower. And still is. So I have seen the more popular girls get the attention from boys, and be admired by others because they're pretty and popular and have the nicest clothes. Then I would look at myself and think, I am not like them at all. So for a long time I have accepted I would just be that average girl that not many people will notice. 

But you know what, I've learned to look past all those thoughts. I've learned that how we look physically, is just one dimension of our very complex being. I can be so much more. I may not have the prettiest face according to society's standards, but I know I am beautiful in my own other ways - by having a big heart, by being kind, being happy... so much more than just a pretty face.

I love this quote I came across the internet:


So whenever the negative thoughts creep in, I remind myself of God's love that looked past my imperfections. Who thought I am worthy enough to be in this world, to live life and make something out of myself. Besides, I can never be someone else no matter how hard I try. This is me for the rest of my life, so I better just accept it and love me for who I am. I've grown to give my self a little credit and realise I can be valuable too. I'm embracing my strengths and accepting my flaws, and building my confidence from there.  I've also learned to love imperfections, because these are what set us apart and make us real and human.

But hey, I'm a work in progress. I still have my bad days and feel absolutely terrible about my self sometimes. A lot of times I'm just faking it to make it - act like I am confident when deep inside I'm really not. But it's okay because I'll learn to embody that confidence... slowly, until it becomes real.  Posting these selfies is a testament to that.




Whenever you feel like poop, remember you are here. And that's enough to say that you've got a purpose and you're valuable - with imperfections and all. You've got your own strengths and talents that no one else has.

I hope you too can find the courage to overcome your negative thoughts and start loving yourself. It's not going to be easy, it's going to be a long process; and in the middle of it you might get discouraged by others who will remind you of all the insecurities that you spent all this time overcoming. I hope you find the courage to start again.

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